Many adults see time-out as a valuÂable non-vioÂlent method of disÂciÂplinÂing misÂbeÂhavÂing chilÂdren. Although this is a comÂmon view, it is a misÂguidÂed one.
Time-out can fosÂter hosÂtilÂiÂty, resentÂment, and even defiÂance in a child. Children’s behavÂior that adults conÂsidÂer “bad” is realÂly eviÂdence of some probÂlem the child is expeÂriÂencÂing. Instead of banÂishÂing the child to time-out, adults should look for the reaÂsons behind children’s inapÂproÂpriÂate behavÂior and use posÂiÂtive strateÂgies to remÂeÂdy problems.
What do the experts say?
EarÂly childÂhood speÂcialÂist Dr. MaxÂine Edwards CornÂwell has the folÂlowÂing to say about time-out:
“Many careÂgivers use the time-out chair today as a non-vioÂlent method of disÂciÂplinÂing misÂbeÂhavÂing chilÂdren. It has replaced the dunce cap in the corÂner and the nose in the cirÂcle on the blackÂboard as a genÂerÂalÂly acceptÂed way of getÂting chilÂdren to think about their behavior.
The fact is that the time-out chair is effecÂtive in buyÂing some quiÂet time for a careÂgivÂer. That’s about all it does posÂiÂtiveÂly. NegÂaÂtiveÂly, it makes chilÂdren acuteÂly aware of who the “bad kids” are (they’re always in The Chair). ChilÂdren do not sit there and think about what they did or what they should have or should not have done. If they think about themÂselves at all, it’s with an “I’m bad; they don’t like me and I don’t like them either so there” attitude.
A betÂter choice is removal from the scene of the batÂtle to spend a few minÂutes with a careÂgivÂer who can lovÂingÂly disÂcuss the probÂlem with the child. This does not isoÂlate chilÂdren or label them “bad” but serves a betÂter purpose—teaching chilÂdren to get along with each othÂer. We do not learn to get along with each othÂer in the time-out chair.”
Have you used time out to discipline?
If you have used time-out as a method of disÂciÂpline, conÂsidÂer how effecÂtive this stratÂeÂgy has been. How often is the same child sent to time-out? Has time-out boostÂed children’s self-esteem? Made chilÂdren more coopÂerÂaÂtive? ResultÂed in posÂiÂtive changes in children’s behavÂior? Chances are your answers to these quesÂtions do not supÂport the conÂtinÂued use of this technique.
If you ever feel absoluteÂly comÂpelled to send a child to time-out, conÂsidÂer this a red flag. Find posÂiÂtive ways to help this child so that you will nevÂer have to resort to using time-out a secÂond time for this child.
Ready to learn more about time-out? Many Care CoursÂes disÂcuss this topÂic at length. We recÂomÂmend startÂing with First Steps in Child Care. This is an excelÂlent introÂducÂtion to child care and workÂing with children.
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